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Manners

01/24/2012

I had to do something today that I was not entirely proud of, but at the same time am glad that I did. I, ladies and Ladies, had to shut a mother DOWN.

I was at the grocery procuring foods, from which I would make a healthy arrangement of food for one of my roommates and myself when I encountered my obstacle.

Here I am, waiting in a line that sees one person checking out and one person ahead of me. As I wait in this queue, I decide to take the liberty to change the song playing from my phone (yes I’m wearing head phones…I know you’re concerned) when the woman in front of me decides for whatever reason that she must leave. At this same moment, the person ahead of her/checking out finishes and leaves, and a mom with what looks like an 11 or 12 year old son SWOOPS in front of me as I’m moving forward to try and check out. My reaction is in the following dialogue:

Me: Excuse me, I was in line.
Mother: You weren’t paying attention.
Me: Yes I was that woman just left.
Mother: Well, do you want to go before me.
Me: As a matter of fact I would.

*I move around her and proceed to check out*

Mother: You should really pay attention.
Me: There’s no need to be rude, I was waiting in line like everyone else. If you were in a rush you could have asked.
Mother: You were on your phone!
Me: Which I have every right to be.
Mother: **Scoffs** Yea?!
Me: WHY DONT YOU teach your son some manners, huh? Be the example.
Mother: **SPEECHLESS**
Boom. That, my friends, is how you shut a mother down, respectfully. There was no need for her aggression, especially with her child present. Too many children these days are disrespectful and inconsiderate…and it’s no wonder if the example does not start at home. I coulda been like, “Listen bitch…” but it’s not worth it. Hit people where it really hurts, with courtesy and insight.

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Reminder

01/24/2012

I moved to New York nearly three years ago. I moved to New York to fulfill my dreams and earn a career in the field I desire. Anything that gets in the way of that is a failure of the goal.

Live your life, focus on the goal, everything will fall into place where and WHEN it needs to. Anything else, is a distraction from the path and can lead to failure.

Sometimes, it takes simple words from a good friend to reawaken a mantra that has nearly faded.

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Reckless Facebooking

01/06/2012

There is a problem running rampant through the year 2012 and we, my sweet angel faces, are merely 6 days in. Yes, it arguably began long ago, but I am wanting to bring light to the issue.

Why do people feel the incessant need to contribute their opinion on topics that do not concern them on the Facebook? Specifically, why contribute an opinion or a comment that has nothing to do with the topic at hand? Were you not hugged enough as a child? Were you not validated enough in school? Have you always been the Jan to someone else’s’ Marsha and the free forum of Facebook is you getting your chance to be seen and heard? It just baffles me.

Exhibit A:

Friend’s Status: Who wants to see (MOVIE) next week with me?

Me: I do. When do you want to go? Txt or Mssg me.

Random Person: OMG! TOTES SAW IT. SO GREAT. Read the book too!!! How are you?

okay, call me ignorant…but was anything Rando said necessary? It did not lend to the fact that the person already wanted to see the movie. It did not answer the question he had posed. And now you have interrupted my phone with your inane comment, and there go seconds of my life that I will never get back.

Exhibit B

Friend posts and tags me in a photo on the Facebook with other friends. Someone, COMPLETELY unrelated to the photo, makes a comment (also unrelated to the actual picture) on the photo. Fine whatever. Enter Asshole #2, who is also unrelated to the picture, responding to Asshole #1’s previously unrelated comment. Cue a conversation of epic proportions between these two characters that could easily be hashed out on each other’s wall.

Why, Assholes? Why? Why would you carry out what is a series of alerts to people over issues that do not concern them, frustrating my life through the continuous alerts on my phone, making me want to remove my tag from what is otherwise a delightful photograph of gaiety and merriment?!

Yes yes, blah blah ‘free speech’, ‘occupy (anything)’…I get it. Say what you want, it’s your prerogative and what not. But that doesn’t make it relevant or pertinent to the issues at hand. There’s an old adage: Think before you speak. I think most people today leave out the first two words, simply because they no longer know how.

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Pants

10/24/2011

it was a lovely october saturday in new york city, when i wandered out of my domicile to meet up with friends to engage in various acts of revelry and midday merrymaking. the air was cool and crisp, the trees were rustling in their leaves, and a hangover was pounding something fierce in my frontal cortex. But with much exuberance (and effort) i ventured out.

a friend of mine was visiting from chicago and we proceeded to stroll down the 5th avenue to a store called Uniqlo. you see, uniqlo had just opened it’s global flagship in the new york a week prior and they were selling jeans, mens and womens, for an alarming $9.90. that’s right: $9.90 for some quality denim (for a limited time none the less). being the thrify consumer i am, i figured, what better opportunity to stock up on the staple to every mans wardrobe than a pair (or two) of every colored skinny jean they offered for this price. 15 pairs later (yes, i bought some for my roommates too…they repaid me, i know youre concerned), i had returned home a happy man. However, i had grabbed a couple pair in the wrong size that needed returning, as was the purpose of this return voyage (no pun intended).

mischief was managed at the uniqlo and my friend josh (chicago friend) and i proceeded to a neighborhood haunt for some good conversation and a libation or two. after consuming our tasty beverages and spending the money i JUST had returned to me, we decided to go with our friend michael for a stroll in central park, for you see josh had never been.

we walked through the park, enjoying the sights and sounds of fall in the city, eventually turning back to go our separate ways. upon our leaving the park, we were greeted by a chorus (more like a duet) of ‘gentlemen’ of an extreme christian religious sect preaching aloud to passersby gospel telling of the end of days and signs of the times. we walked by not paying attention, per usual (god help you if you stopped for every crazy person saying something, you would never get anywhere), but not before they focused their attention on our group, namely me. After reciting some forgettable lyric of gospel that had been twisted angrily into an accusatory slur, they ‘gentlemen’ proceeded to shout (as i walk distinctly by them mind you) that “men wearing skinny jeans, TIGHT JEANS, were becoming more effeminate and one of the of why this world is corrupt. men wearing skinny jeans are DESTROYING SOCIETY!” at which point i did an immediate about face and loudly (shocked and obnoxiously) said, “MOI?!”

you see, in my excitement of my thrifty purchase at the Uniqlo, i proceeded to wear out a pair of the correct sized denim i had purchased to enjoy the delightful fall day. to my pleasure, they were quite comfortable, but apparently were bringing these men great displeasure. Perhaps it was the few previous cocktails, but I proceeded to ask them for my own amusement, being VERY bible literate myself, “how are men, wearing skinny jeans, destroying society? better yet, where in the good book does it say or even prophecy that skinny jeans are a sign of the end of times?” these men, of probably no higher academic intelligence than a first semester of 7th grade, proceeded to tell me that men were losing their masculinity, were becoming effeminate and weak, and were more disposed to being homosexual. he said it was also not natural for men to wear tight jeans, and that it was so out of hand that designers at fashion week were designing skirts for men and that is JUST DISGUSTING. then this ‘man of god’ proceeded to go on a tirade of expletives that i shall not repeat here.

now in my opinion what jeans a man picks to wear behind closed doors is his business, but i did convey to the man that his generalizations were a bit off, and he should research his facts better before spewing stupidity for the impressionable masses to hear. a back and forth continued and things got heated when the man at this point proceeded to get in my and my 3rd friend’s, michael, face telling us he would ‘cut off our heads and stomp on our bodies.’ “i guess that part was the footnote to the Turn the Other Cheek scripture,” was my response to that. The man pushed my friend Michael at this point, causing me to intervene to try and remedy the situation. The man tried to push me at which point i grabbed both his wrists, and said “if you dont want to get your ‘masculine’ ass kicked by a boy in skinny jeans, i suggest you stand down.”  the ‘man of god’ proceeded to call me the Devil at which point i looked down at my shoes, and said “I guess it’s true, since I am wearing Prada and all.” By this point, the cops came and were dealing with the ‘wise men’.

we walked off amazed at our fortune in finding such quality humans, and amazed how so much was all started, just because of how good i look in jeans.

i am a man, i wear skinny jeans. dont f*** with me.

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Morals

08/23/2011

There is a phenomenon that keeps occurring and I really want to know why…

Why is it that whenever I meet someone, who may or may not have had a proclivity to being rather…’social’ with people in or out of circle, they become all of a sudden righteous and moral the moment I show the slightest bit of sincere interest in them (and not limited to, but not excluding, ‘that’ type of interest)? WHY?!

When did I develop the ability to convert people/raise awareness to their own misgivings? What about me makes one go, “hm, I really want to rethink my former course of behavior and alter it in this immediate moment.” “I’m not a preacher but I can make you feel”…moral?

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Footsies

07/11/2011

I find it funny how it is an unspoken rule for people to brag about being by a body of water (be it a pool, ocean, lake or pond) by having the customary “I’m where you wish you were” photo: a single, visible pair of feet jetting in the direction of water indicating that the person is lounging about restlessly, clearly hating their life while presumably being forced to swallow down deliciously intoxicating beverages as they have their skin kissed by the sun.

Clearly I’m in the office on a Monday.

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Word Vomit

06/21/2011

While perusing the Facebook, on finds that there is a thin line between “I should do a status update about that” and “I should talk to a therapist about that”…